Is Cheating Really Worse These Days?
Experts say some amount of cheating is inevitable in any culture. When the first human beings set out the first rules for ethical behavior, there was no doubt some scheming wretch who started working out ways to bend them.
This early in morning(5:30am) the last thing I expected to see headlined as a news story was the story that I seen. After just finishing the last few pages of a book I was reading, I signed online only to be awakened to an article that read a little something like this "What makes people cheat?". For myself stumbling across this article brought about a joyous feeling inside of me. I didn't know if that feeling was due to my arrogance for writing about this subject for the past few months or if that feeling was due to some myth that I would have to dispel about the causes and effects of cheating and broken hearts. Upon reading the first page, I found that cheating(although you can really only cheat if you are playing a game) happens not just in relationships but EVERYWHERE. Although this is not surprising to me it did begin to make me re-evaluate the causes of cheating. If you have read the rest of this blog in its entirety or my other blogs such as this one or this one then you should know by now that this author obviously displays an affinity for highlighting the cause of Americas oh so humorous and absurd hypocrisies.
According to this article CHEATING is more American or as American as apple pie. Everyone cheats. Professors, scientists, lawyers(no surprise) and most importantly YOU AND ME. Yeah you can deny it, but WE ALL CHEAT. What does this mean for relationships? To a keen observer it can really only mean one thing. It means that how we look at relationships and pretty much everything else for that matter has to be looked at through a CULTURAL LENS. People cheat for two primary reasons. The first reason is lack of understanding of themselves and human nature. In a word ladies and gentlemen "DISCIPLINE" or the lack thereof. The second and what would seem like the most obscure and mysterious reason for cheating the relationship synonym being "infidelity" is CULTURE. At the top of the pyramid AMERICAN CULTURE. This quote from the article sums this up beautifully
"Societies [that place] the greatest emphasis on getting rich while having the fewest avenues to get rich in a legitimate fashion tend to be societies with the greatest amount of cheating," says Callahan. While there are plenty of legitimate opportunities to get rich in the U.S., Callahan observes that they don't extend equally to everyone.
He sees a nation that's obsessed with getting rich and terrified of losing out. We've been encouraged to think in Darwinian terms: We're all in a desperate struggle against each other to make it to the top. Failure is disastrous.
Experts note that the pressure starts when we're young. For some parents, not getting their child into the right preschool -- let alone college -- supposedly spells social and economic ruin. High school students are encouraged to fret relentlessly about college. They're pushed by their parents to get perfect grades, play sports, join a dozen extracurricular clubs, and take up esoteric hobbies or rare musical instruments in order to stand out to admissions officers.
"For young people, the pressure is greater than ever, and the competition is greater than ever,"
I hope we are reading the same article. If we are then the picture is quite clear. Your relationship whether it is a happy one, a miserable one or just one that isn't one, then is doomed from the start. Not doomed from the sense that you give up all hope and feel despair, but doomed from the stand point that in order to create and sustain any loving relationship, then you have to first know what you are up against. Your primary ENEMY chief antagonist to your HAPPINESS IS STRESS AND PRESSURE. Two intangible forces that are dedicated full time to knocking you out from that happy place that your soul yearns to be in. And the two co-conspirators of those forces are American culture and YOURSELF. The two culprits that constantly make you feel that you have to compete and act like something that you are not in order to seek love and affection in every place except where love is stored. YOURSELF. So the next time that feeling of RELATIONSHIP BANKRUPTCY begins to withdraw from your LOVE CHECKING ACCOUNT remember what forces are responsible so you can best outline your most strategic line of defense.