Sunday, July 11, 2004

Second stage of love for men: DECISION

decision- 1 a : the act or process of deciding b : a determination arrived at after consideration : CONCLUSION
2 : a report of a conclusion
3 : promptness and firmness in deciding : DETERMINATION
4 a : WIN; specifically : a victory in boxing decided on points b : a win or loss officially credited to a pitcher in baseball

Decisions, decisions, life is full of them. Big decisions or small decisions every decision we make can drastically alter the course of any plan we attempt to implement. With all the decisions we have to make in life, who has time to waste thinking about what kind of woman to settle down with. Life is to stressful to have to narrow down a perfect choice for a woman. And women, I am sure you have way more important things in this day and time to think about other than deciding on which MAN to choose right.
WRONG! It sounds real self assuring and excellent to our ego to say we don't spend time deciding on which man or woman would be right for us. The truth is, it may just consume a large portion of our mind, body and soul. Men, why make a decision anyway, when you can be perfectly happy with a harem of women and the only decision you need to make is your place or mine.

What goes through a man's mind when it time to make a decision on choosing a particular woman? Men have certain qualifiers and preliminaries that they feel women have to pass. She is real clean, she has a sense of humor, she is not too controlling(on the surface)and most importantly she is attempting to achieve the same things in life that you are. So what happens to men after they find a woman that has jumped that initial hurdle. I tell you what happens. The second stage of love for men kicks in. DECISION. With so many women available to men, deciding on one may be the last thing on a mans mind. But when that special lady begins to capture the heart of a man, MEN start to act strange. They begin to run out of excuses. You know all the excuses men come up with to avoid committment. During the decision phase of a mans path towards love he starts to realize that play time is over and it is time to pick the woman of his choice. All childhood behaviors and immature views towards women begin to fade away. No longer can the man just settle for one night stands and wild flings that lead to no where. At this point, the man starts to see that the women he attracts are very serious and those women are threw with wasting time. With such a realization, this is the stage that most men rarely get past and they would rather stay within thier cocoon of promiscuity and run from change and stability for more years to come.

Ladies if you get frustrated or have been hurt because you are waiting for a man to committ to you, now you know the cause. It is the mans inability to decide that is holding up your committment plans. And can you blame men. See, men can't decide because where women see marriage and committment men see PRISON TERMS. Instead of white picket fences, men see balls and chains. Men see the years just peeling away. Men see all thier days routinely being the same. Men see marriage as one big GROUNDHOG DAY where everyday is exactly the same and happiness is a thing of the past. The way to get a man to decide to be with you is to always keep things fresh and new. Always keep the man guessing. A man will not DECIDE to settle down with you if he feels he will be trapped in the long run. A man will never be loyal to a woman if she bores him, constantly complains or is far to CONTROLLING.

I know this spells danger for all you career driven women, but if you want to make a man decide to be with you instead of one of all the other millions of fresh fish in the sea, make the decision easy for him. GIVE MEN THIER SPACE WHILE GIVING THEM PLENTY OF ATTENTION. If you as a woman understand space and the power of being elusive, a man will make a decision to deal with you 9 times out of 10. Men are like children when it comes to narrowing down the right woman. They are like children because they want thier cake and ice cream(lots of woman). And like a child you better believe they want to eat thier goodies too. Most men, not all may view woman as numbers or "goodies", but eventually this view wears thin and value instead of superficiality starts to arise inside a mans mind. When it comes to this second stage of love for men, women should treat mens inability to make a decision as you would treat a childs. The more often you do that, the more you will men come around to marriage and committment and they will no longer waste your time or act like children. Placing this demand on men and knowing how to treat them when they proscrastinate will force them to grow without making them feel TRAPPED.

74 comments:

twintellect said...

Yes it is extremely difficult for a man to make the decision to be committed to a particular women. A lot of times womens agenda is completely different then a man's. Where a man might want to take risks, a woman might not want to take those risks due to security. A man will continously get irratated and annoyed by thier womans inability to realize thier plans. If a woman doesn't listen and take what the man says serious then that will turn a man off. It is very important that women stay aware of thier mans emotional state and encourage the things they like to do. Being attentive in this way will help the decision to join and remain in a committment a whole lot easier. And in the long run I think both the man and the woman will be extremely happy.

twintellect said...

I agree with you. Men's inability to make decisions is very frustrating as a man we don't like to feel as if we are children even though we may act like children. In order for a women to nurture her man with minimal friction she has to learn to be very skillful. It takes a nice mixture of encouragement and a sense of timing. This sense of timing has to come in the form of some aggressiveness. Sometimes men need a wake up call. This wake up call ladies has to be STERN BUT COMPASSINATE. Us men are sensitive and yes we do act like children. However ladies, it is demeaning to us when you blatantly undermine us and take our egos for granted. In my opinion to overcome this hurdle men have to constantly reminded that the woman in thier life is special and not to be taken for granted. This has to be done in a way that is SENSUAL AND ENLIGHTENING. A woman has to serve as a energizer for thier man when the world beats up on him. Realizing this will most definitely smooth any rought edges that women might encounter when loving thier man. If you do this and the man still has an enormous ego that is beyond nurturing then women I think you should follow whatever voice comes in your head at that point.




Men's inablitity to make decision are very frustrating because when we start to nurture them as if they were a child, they want to fight you. But they don't realize that being saw as a child to a woman is very meaningful. We she children as precision beings that need all the love and protection in the world, we give 100 % of our selves to our child from child birth tell we die. They are everything to us. When a man is treated like that, he should not feel threatened, but priviliaged

Anonymous said...

this is one of the most sexist and unintelligent articles I have read in the last two years. thanks.

Anonymous said...

A woman doesn't want to marry a man if he bores her, constantly complains or is far to CONTROLLING. Men have got to work to please a woman too. If not it isn't really worth it for her either. Women get bored, annoyed, and feel trapped too especially in long relationships. Men have to work to keep our attention as well. Men take note.

anonymousone said...

I'm sure that the writer of the article meant well, but comparing men to children is unkind and men will perceive it as sexist. I think that modern society, in general, makes everyone see the world as one giant buffet. The modern mindset, itself, is childish, and we all become like children who can't pick from all the pretty 'candy' (people) and who feel as if we should have it all. True love is an endangered species, and sadly lust is the order of the day.

anonymousone said...

Men should be treated with more respect. I've seen countless articles comparing them to creatures of lower intelligence or saying they are childish. What they are is mysterious, maybe. I can't figure them out. I just want one man who will want only me. Sounds simple, right? Sadly, it is not so. When will people be able to be satisfied with what they have? There is no security for love. It is heart breaking. All I want is to give my heart to only one man who will give his heart only to me.

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