Tuesday, August 30, 2011


I never thought I would be in this position again, but here I am. As a man it is hard to reveal emotions to others because of how society is setup. However, I never really cared much about societies rules so I am going to reveal all. I am heart broken again and I honestly didn't see it coming. My fiance, my future wife, the only woman that I ever told I would spend the rest of my life with is changing right before my eyes. We always argued all the time, but now she has said things to me that I swore I would never hear come out of her mouth. This isn't easy for me to express because again emotions aren't something men are supposed to express. I guess that's why the prisons are jammed packed to capacity. There are a lot of things that are difficult when relationships end. The hardest part for me is the time, vision and goals that we set for each other are down the drain. All the positive memories and all the "us against the world moments are down the drain".

The worst part of this all is the children. Now due to the break up, I am officially apart of the visiting fathers club. I can no longer wake up and enjoy the sound and interaction of my children. It doesn't have to be over, but what do you do when a couples vision is no longer one in the same. I thought that this feeling would never happen after the first time. I thought that the fact that me and my fiance shared so many things in common would bond us forever. Well, either I was naive, blind or just ignoring the fact that everyone comes in your life for a reason, and those that come out of your life is also for a reason. Maybe the goal is to be attached to the lessons and never the person. I will continue this soon.

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